I love me some cheese
Brie, Gouda, Mimolette, Swiss
Take care when cutting

My fav NGO?
WWF
Those wrestlers rock!

Biking across town
San Francisco is gorgeous
Hills can kiss my ass

My dentist's office
The wait is pure agony
Only Reader's Digest??

Sleepy, so sleepy

Night's cold hand tugs at my eyes

Damn you, PS3!

Got my plane tickets.
Gonna see shuttle's last launch.
Three, two, one, liftoff!

Already three years!
Happy Anniversary!
I love you, my dear.

Have you had sushi?

Not that funky roll bullshit.

Try uni instead.

Like forbidden fruit

A Jewish boy and his pork

There's no going back!

Made beef stew today

Thank you Jamie Oliver

Easy and tasty!

Persistence paid off.

Buyer found via Craigslist.

He bought my old tux.

Isn't pasta great?

Made some with pork and spinach

Tasty and quick too!

Radiohead said:

"Anyone can play guitar,"

But it ain't easy

Two hours of cooking

But eating all of that food?

Only five minutes

Do you like Guinness?

Add some chocolate ice cream --

Tastes like an egg cream!

I freely admit:

Mine stinks as much as yours does.

Shit, poop, crap, kaka.

White and beautiful,

I think I've found my true love.

Banana Cream Pie.

Tattoos and nose rings

So passé, so old-fashioned

I have a bald spot

Whatever it is

Bacon makes it much better

Including sex? Sure.

Transformers 2? Sure.

Megan Fox was really hot.

But why make a third?

What are you doing?

Don't eat ramen with your spoon!

Use your damn chopsticks!

Ooh! Look! Open me!

Great discounts on Viagra.

Thank you, spam filter.

Dogs in the spring time

Jumping, playing, happy days

Poop on the sidewalk

On tonight's menu:

A serving of rejection.

No thank you, I'm full.

Blood of a tiger.

Sleeps with two young goddesses.

Charlie is #winning!

For all things in life

Quality not quantity

Don’t drink shitty beer

My damn Firefox

Autocompletes to Porn Sites

Did my wife notice?

Please click on this link

Never gonna let you down

You have been rickroll’d

My thoughts turn to you,

Your smell intoxicates me.

I love you, bacon